Unspoken Truth

My screams are silent

My tears are hidden

My fears are present

And there is no one near

Alone I stand waiting for my release

Alone because they cant see past the mask I wear

The mask to hide the stress, anxiety, and pain

Worrying how I’m going to make it from one day to the next

They say to pray and god will answer your cries but as I cry and pray I hear silence

My prayers get deeper and my faith grows weary, but I grip tighter so I don’t fade into the darkness of my heart. God, I ask that you hold my strength and poor wisdom into me so that I don’t walk into the cycle that continues to require an unbelievable amount of strength.

I hide away in shame of the thoughts that pass my mind and grow angry because of the thoughts that are out of my control. I hold everyone's hands and walk with them with guidance but I struggle to find a hand to grab onto when I'm in urgent need. I ask the Holy spirit to lead me but yet my heart stiffens and becomes angry with sadness. I’m alone I tell myself but how when everyone is near? It's because they don’t see me, like air I’m invisible only noticeable when gasping for help after something has taken your breath away. At this moment I find myself gasping for air only to see darkness forming in front of my eyes.